Family holidays | semi-open

[flowrite]

WHO: Fai, Iwai, Sakura, Xiaolang, Kenta, Jirou, Orion, Biffy, Noah?? CLAMP family and extended family ♥ Also lbr if you have close CR with Fai, Iwai, Sakura or Noah you're probably invited too, if anyone wants to stop by for a visit!
WHERE: CLAMP house! aka Fai's new house
WHEN: Christmas and extending into New Years
WHAT: Holiday celebrations! Presents! Cute things! Starters in the comments, feel free to make your own!
WARNINGS: Excessive cuteness~ Anything that comes up will have warnings in the subject lines.

Comments

[bitemefightme]

[Congratulations, Noah. You managed to ask the question that would make the already pale Orion pale several more shades. How did you manage to hit two memories in one conversation? Are you a wizard?

Because all he can think of when it comes to him being a sibling is Lilly. But he's not even sure if that's accurate. And... wait. Isn't Sakura the name of a flower, too? He thinks. And he looks genuinely fearful for a moment, disregarding the parent conversation almost entirely.]

I... I don't know.

[He doesn't remember Sakura entirely at the Thanksgiving dinner. He just saw her, and that was all. She doesn't look like Lilly. But that might not mean anything at all. Some people get appearance changes from Retrospec all the time.

And he doesn't like that thought, not even a little bit. The only thing he's glad for, right now, is having left his guns at home today.]

God, I hope not...

[redarm]

[Yes he has the magic of being a main protagonist, thus can trigger these things on people at a whim.

Noah meanwhile looks...really confused at that reaction. He'd been kidding, he didn't really mean much by it.]

Uh, you okay....?

[bitemefightme]

[Orion glances around the room, taking a moment to snap out of it, and he presses his back to a nearby wall.

And then he tries to take deep breaths. He's trying to ground himself.]

Yea, I'll... I'll be fine. I just...

[What's Sakura like? He both wants to know and yet doesn't want to know at all. He's so afraid she could actually be a reincarnated Lilly right now. And then what. Would she ever forgive him? Would she taunt him like her ghost in the fog?

A ghost.]

I thought I saw a ghost. That's all.

[He's trying to play it off, because he doesn't know how much this kid knows of Retrospec, and he doesn't need to look crazier than he probably already does.]

[redarm]

A...ghost.

[He glances around, to see if there's an actual ghost. He's seen ghosts before, he believes in them- but they hang out in the cementary. Not at Fai's Christmas party.

So when he sees nothing there, and sees that this guy looks not great, he'll give a confused and worried look.]

R-Right. You want me to get you some water or something...?

[bitemefightme]

Yes.

....No, wait. On second thought, don't leave.

[If Sakura shows up while Noah is gone, he'll have no one to hide behind. And then he really won't know what to do with himself.]

Sorry. I'll be fine in a sec. I just...

[That's scary. Thinking Sakura could be Lilly. God, he already feels terrible, but where would he start? There's nothing he could do to fix that, past life or no.

He runs a hand over his face and sighs as he tries to think of something, anything. He should probably avoid Sakura for awhile. But he probably can't do it the entire time either.]

Shit...

[He leans his head back against the wall. What is he going to do? It's not like his meds can fix this. They aren't made for past life situations.]

[redarm]

[The signs are becoming pretty clear to Noah. This guy definitely had some mental issues going on. Luckily though, Noah's pretty used to this stuff from his dad, so once it clicks for him what's going on, he stops debating finding the nearest exit.

In fact he'll drop his usual harsh tone for a more gentle one. He remains close, but makes sure Orion has plenty of space too. ]

Oy, it's alright.

Do you wanna talk about it?

[bitemefightme]

[He watches Noah for a moment, and then huffs a light sigh. Another person who is good at helping people stay grounded. It's not as surprising as it was the first handful of times when he was going through some fucked up shit. But, it's definitely appreciated all the same. It helps him stay here, in the now. And it makes those fears seem less terrifying, even if it's just the teeniest bit.

Talking about it might help, but the question is if he really can.]

Are you familiar with that stupid program called Retrospec?

...Like, have you gotten weird things from them?

[If he's going to talk, he's got to be sure how much he can say before he comes acrost as a total nut case.]

[redarm]

[There's sure a part of him that wants to be sarcastic with the scar on his face. But he doesn't want to get this guy defensive, so he'll bite back that teenage urge]

A few things, yeah. Been on it since last March.

CW: Gore

[bitemefightme]

[March. So Noah's been on it longer than he has. That's... actually kind of a relief. Noah might understand all of this better than he does.

Alright, so talking it is.]

I... Think I had a sister in my past life. Her name was Lilly. I got a really fucked up memory, back in August, when we were stuck in the catacombs. There was a little girl in my arms, and she was torn to shreds.

....I don't know what happened before that. But a couple months later, in the fog, Lilly showed up and talked about how I killed her.

I mean.... I already assumed as much, but....

[A pause as he scrunches his face uncomfortably.]

What if Sakura is Lilly? ...How do I even begin to make up for something like that?

[redarm]

[Wow Orion this is definitely not Christmas-party-friendly conversation material. In fact Noah listens to the story with a bit of a wide eyed expression. Half at the horror of what the story, half at the disbelief that someone is telling him something like this at a party. Sure he asked if the guy wanted to talk about it, but there was no way he could anticipate that.

This is what he gets for trying to be friendly and socialize, holy shit. He should've stuck to being sullen in a corner- or hiding up in his room. What do you even say to something like this????????]

Uh....fuck...

I was just joking...I dunno if Sakura's Lilly. Really.

[Come on brain, please work. ]

And whether she is or not- that was past life. It wasn't you who did..that..

[bitemefightme]

So everyone keeps telling me. But still...

[It's still him in a sense. Even if he wouldn't do something like that in this life, he still did it.]

I don't know if I would forgive someone if I were murdered for no good reason in my past life.

[Or, at least he assumes Lilly died for no good reason. After all, she was a child when he killed her.

Orion can't help but give a sigh.]

Sorry, I know it's really fucked up. Fai and Iwai say as much as you did. But sometimes... I dunno. It's hard to believe them, I guess.

[He runs a hand through his hair, moving it to rub the back of his neck. He still doesn't know what he's going to do about Sakura. Stay as far away as he can, he guesses.]

It's still scary to think about, no matter what life time it was in.

[redarm]

Yeah, guess it would be scary to have that on your plate.

[Noah didn't quite have anything like that. Allen made some reckless choices, but not on the scale of "kill your own sister" bad]

Don't think I can offer you anything that Fai and Iwai haven't already- but uh, hey. Just cause that happened in the past, doesn't mean you gotta repeat shit or whatever. You make your own path.

[He's not good at this]