[closed]

[notbunaga]

WHO: Akinobu and Karkat (alienates)
WHERE: A food court in tisse.
WHEN: 10/03
WHAT: Karkat has absolutely no intention of getting stabbed today
WARNINGS: none, he isn't getting stabbed. not really.

[One would think that, quiet as she is, Aki would know when not to open her mouth to avoid unfortunate situations. She'd decided to stop by the food court today to pick up something to eat for lunch. It wasn't so much that she forget to bring lunch to work today that it was she was just too lazy to do it. It was either ensure she has food for the next day or video games. Video games won.

Nobody ever said she had her priorities straight.

But she's off to the nearest seating area she can find to eat her food when she spots a familiar face seated nearby - Karkat to be exact, not a face she's happy to recognise - and this is where her ability to keep her words to herself fails her, because rather than just ignore him and keep walking...]

Alright, now I know you're stalking me.

Comments

[alienates]

[ honestly at this point karkat runs into aki more than he runs into his actual friends? he is probably cursed or something. she seems like the kind of person who would curse you. he is pretty sure he actually accused her of that at some point, but most of their conversations are just a blur of them flinging insults at each other back and forth so it's hard to keep track.

anyway. he, like her, had stopped by to grab lunch. he is 100% skipping school today like an awful student and he had not been expecting to run into anyone he knows, so. seeing her makes him pause for more reasons than one. ]

Bullshit. I was here first, you're the one following me around like one of those creepy ghost girls in scary movies.

[notbunaga]

If I was a creepy ghost girl, I'd get around by passing through TVs instead of taking the bus.

[It'd save on money, wouldn't be nearly as crowded and honestly? You could go literally anywhere. Maybe even expand into things like smartphones. Anything with a screen. Fast travel IRL.

Now she just regrets her human existence...

Anyway. She just.

Sits down at his table.]

Shouldn't you be at school?

[alienates]

I'm sick.

[ he fake coughs.

cough cough. ]

And if you were a ghost girl, shouldn't you just be sticking to one house and haunting it instead of me? Go lower the real estate value of some nice suburban home.

[notbunaga]

Oh yeah, that makes sense. I totally forgot about that old home remedy of going to food court when you're sick. Granny Taira always said it'd cure anything.

[It's true, she doesn't particularly like Karkat. She should by all rights just leave.

But something compels her to stay.]

Look, it's not like I'm going to play the concerned adult here. My friend skips school all the time and I don't stop her either.

[alienates]

You should consider being a better influence on her. They say your school years are your most formative.

[ he does not sound like he believes that. also, that said friend constantly makes karkat skip with her, so he doesn't have room to talk either. ]

[notbunaga]

You're right. I never skipped school and look how I turned out; I'll be sure to encourage her more.

[Clearly you want more Nobus around right.]

[alienates]

Don't you fucking dare. I do not need two of you popping out of the ground where I go, like the world's worst daisies that need restraining orders.

[ actually... ]

How... old are you anyway...?

[notbunaga]

I'm 19. I'll be 20 in June.

[She gives him a Look. That if he's got anything to say about it he should keep it to himself.]

[alienates]

[ he has so many short jokes to make but something else she just said is far more important. ]

Wait. When in June?

[ HIS BIRTHDAY IS ALSO IN JUNE he needs to make sure they don't have the same birthday or else he may die. ]

[notbunaga]

The 21st.

[The same day Nobunaga died.

For irony's sake.

But...]

Why? Want me to tell you what you should get me, next?

[alienates]

The only thing I'd be getting you is a Bible.

[ karkat is definitely relieved at this information though. ]

Just making sure our birthday isn't on the same day or else I would have had to call bullshit.

[notbunaga]

If it isn't one of those white leather ones with the gold trim, I'm dumping it in the trash. I'm not cheap.

[Says the woman in the trash heap of an apartment with the trash heap of a diet.]

Why, when's yours?

[alienates]

You should be happy with whatever you get. Don't be selfish.

[ karkat isn't even sure where you buy bibles. in the book store?? ]

The 12th.

[notbunaga]

I see.

[She's gonna send him a dildo.]

You must be looking forward to your 13th birthday.

[alienates]

[ i hope people only give him dildos from now on ]

Just because you look like your a 13 year old doesn't mean that I'm one.

[notbunaga]

[She leans across the table to jab him in the stomach with her fork. Not hard enough to pierce him, obviously, but it's a sharp enough gesture.]

Watch it.

[alienates]

Ow! What the fu--

[ and then, suddenly, he isn't sitting in a food court with aki and getting stabbed with a fork. he's somewhere else, with a different person entirely. there's actual blood on karkat's hands that APPARENTLY seems to be coming from him? because that person fucking stabbed him??? and karkat is babbling about blood colors, and mutations or something or other, and then the other person cuts his own hand to show it to karkat and then

nope. back in a food court with aki. what the fuck, indeed. ]

Jesus, am I bleeding?!

[notbunaga]

I didn't stab you that hard, you wuss.

[She holds the fork in front of his face.]

See?

[alienates]

No, but I was actually bleeding, and-- [ he just. fucking groans

and also swats the fork away ]

I just had one of those weird memory vision bullshit moments in a goddamn food court.

[notbunaga]

...huh.

[That's interesting...]

What happened?

[alienates]

I got stabbed.

[ yes karkat, you've already established this. ]

And I was... weirdly okay with it? The actual stabbing wasn't the thing that bothered me, which is concerning because I would think having a knife stuck into me is pretty high on the list of shit that is a problem.

[notbunaga]

...hm.

[She just stares at him for a moment in silence.

Then turns her attention to her fork...now that's interesting. She puts the fork down and pulls her phone out, starting to text someone.]

Anyway, it's not that surprising. Maybe the depths of your depravity really know no bounds.

[alienates]

[ nobu who the fuck are you texting ]

I do not have a stabbing kink if that's what you're implying.

[notbunaga]

[never you mind you sweet summer child...]

Why else would you be weirdly okay with it?

[alienates]

Don't lump me in with you.

[ it's said with less bite than usual though. why was he weirdly okay with it... karkat frowns. ]

I was more concerned about the dude being able to see my blood.

[ it's not really said to her, really. it's more like he's just trying to figure it out for himself. ]