come on Virginia, don't let 'em wait [ OPEN ]

[hjack69]

WHO: Everybody who wants in! Primarily adults, but idk maybe some teenagers sneak in with fake IDs or something.
WHERE: BARS..... and also probably some clubs because Jack is Jack.
WHEN: Valentine's night.
WHAT: A Valentine's Day celebration for the grownups. Initiate bar crawl.
WARNINGS: None right now, will update if necessary.

[ The first bar everyone is told to meet up at is ready for them - Jack's already bought a few rounds of drinks for everyone, kindly soul that he is. It's middle-of-the-line, comfortable, neither upscale or ratty. It's a perfect place to start.

From then on, the bars get progressively and progressively shittier, or weirder. Jack's willing to go to a good number of them, so feel free to make up your own theme for open threads and just say they went there at some point! This is pretty much just a mingle/party log spread out over multiple locations, so use it however you want. ]

Comments

BIGBY WOOF

[puffing]

[ for one reason or another, Jack & Co. thinks it wise to invite a member of law enforcement along for a night of bad mistakes and inevitable troublemaking. against every part of Bigby telling him it was not a good idea, he decides to go with it. maybe Elizabeth insisted, or maybe he feels bad for kind of wrecking Jack. regardless, he takes off of work at a decent time, gets dressed up to an extent (minus the sunglasses) and prepares for the worst. ]

A:

[ Bigby fully accepts the fact that he will outdrink a good 98% of the adults tagging along for this ridiculously irresponsible bar crawl. it's a result of consuming alcohol at such a young age and the fact that the man is just plain big, but that doesn't stop him from trying! he's spent who knows how much of Jack's cash on drinks and has finished three or four glasses without so much as a buzz. how boring, right?

like a glutton for liquid courage (something he hardly needs more of), he looks over to the nearest patron and casually reaches out to take their glass. whether he's just fucking with them or is genuine about stealing their alcohol is unknown, but he is sloooowly dragging it back. ]

You won't mind if I relieve you of this, will you? Put it on Jack's tab.

B:

[ as time ticks on, even the Great Gatsby Bigby will begin to feel the effects of getting tipsy. he's light on his feet and has loosened up to an extent, which may surprise many considering it's easy to assume he just gets angry or quiet when drunk. by the time they've moved to the dumb, obnoxious biker bar, the only thing he wants to do is drink and play pool. unlike Jack, however, he does not cause shit when he snatches up a pool stick. regardless of who is around him, he nudges the nearest person on the side with the cue and motions them to come over to the table.

he won't break the stick over your head, promise! ]

C:

[ he's done it. it's happened. Bigby is drunk. his wallet is likely in pain and his liver will probably want to leave his body in the most violent way possible, but the deed is done. his face is flush with red from the effects of inebriation, eyes having grown lazy and his shoulders slack. it's sad this is the most relaxed he looks to have been out in public since. ever. probably. either way, it's taken until the tail end of the bar crawl for him to get like this and there's likely few people remaining. whoever's left?

sorry. Bigby is slamming his elbow down into the bar counter or table, offering his right hand to them. no, not in marriage. a challenge. ]

Y... ou. Let's do this! F-fucking arm wrestle me, motherfucker. I'll even let you squeeze first.

[ what? what does that even mean. Bigby, stop flirting with people, holy shit. ]

LOCKED TO LIZ:

[ they're both wasted, and they have to get home. it seems like an impossible task at this rate and they may have a better time just finding the nearest inn or hotel to sleep at for the night. like the bright married couple they are, what do they decide to do? walk. Bigby's sobered up enough to walk on his own two feet without falling over, which is a godsend considering he has Elizabeth on his back with her arms around his neck. her pair of heels are in his hand and one last bottle of beer he is nursing as if it's hangover food is in the other. with only a stumble or two every now and then, their trek seems to have started out with little issue. ]

Where's the goddamn taxis at this hour? On fucking Valentine's of all nights? ―Why am I even asking you? You're probably passed out up there.

C

[hjack69]

You're fuckin' on!

[ Look whether or not they've had a ~moment~ or what, this is still happening. Jack is hammered and not getting any better, and suddenly it seems like a great idea to plop down opposite Bigby and... take his shirt off?

Why is he taking his shirt off. Nobody knows. He dramatically throws it down on the bar floor and drops his elbow on the table, gripping Bigby's hand. ]

I'll tickle your frickin' tulips, sunshine.

[ what the hell backwater southern crap is that even?? also a mystery. he says it like it's the slickest one-liner known to man. ]

belated insanity

[puffing]

[ Jack would normally be the absolute last fucking guy he'd want to challenge for pretty much anything ever, but under the effects of intoxication? he's down. what he isn't down for is the ceremonious ripping of his shirt. what the fuck.

this will be the first of at LEAST two times where he's seen Jack shirtless in twenty-four hours. ]

Stop― stop making everything sound so sexual, jesus. G-gonna snap your fuckin' arm off like a twig, sunshine.

[ that would normally sound... very violent under Bigby's normal gruff voice, but nope. not tonight. he's hiccuping or gasping for breath every other word and even relaxes his grip on Jack's. what does that mean, exactly? he kind of. tickles. the man's palm for the briefest of moments. ]

You sure you want to sign up for this? You're signing up for... for pain. I'm bringing you that. The pain. Understand?

i'm so ready

[hjack69]

[ The longest fucking pause. ]







Did you just tickle me?

[ THE IMPORTANT PART HERE?? ]

[puffing]

And if I fucking did?

[ if he wasn't tickling before, he purposely is now. to the point of fully releasing his grip on Jack to run his fingernails down the padding of the other man's fingers and down the lines on his palm.

Bigby immediately takes advantage of any confusion by gripping his hand and attempting to swing it down to the bartop. he is apparently the most unfair arm wrestler in the world when he is drunk if he did the same shit to Ardyn. at least he hasn't used his second hand yet?? ]

That's right, sucker. Gonna take you the hell down―

i can't believe i have a fucking icon for this

[hjack69]

[ no bigby das gey

But here's what happens: Bigby tickles his palm and Jack is thrown off, making it little challenge to slam his hand to the table. He howls in surprise, rocking forward, and then - climbs onto the table?

And now he's tackling Bigby to the floor with something like cheatin' motherfucker! Yes. They're fucking dumb. ]

[tearable]

[ Whether they have a group of equally wasted adults behind them, Bigby lead the pack. Elizabeth clung weakly to his back, her nose buried against the back of his neck, smelling his cologne so obviously against her nostrils. ]

I'm not passed out at alllll. [ Jack may have bled and arms may have been pained in wrestling matches, but Liz had a nice time. Except for her little breakdown about her age. ] They probably are picking up drunk people. Drunker people than us, darling.

[ That's a lie. Her cheek presses against his shoulder, eyes shut tightly as she tries to hold instead of falling limp. ]

They're not too bad... right? [ The company, she means. ] This could have been one horrid experience but... I think we needed this, especially with all the silly, stupid, dumb-dumb things going on.

[puffing]

[ even though husband and wife went into the bar crawl together, they trusted one another to do what they wanted without getting into too much trouble. so what if Elizabeth almost got kicked out of an establishment (or maybe she does, who knows??) or that Bigby may or may not have torn his shirt off in a bid to arm wrestle another shirtless man? both of them must have had an expectation that the night would get a bit crazy when considering the people that eventually decided to join them.

maybe they underestimated it by about a mile or three, but eh. who cares. ]

Oh, good. Glad to hear you're still among the living. [ Elizabeth and her alcohol tolerance is admittedly strong, but she's no Bigby. and if Bigby got fucked up, he can't imagine how she isn't knocked the hell out. ] Drunker people than us are currently in the hospital dying of alcohol poisoning. Or on the way. That's ambulances, not taxis.

[ he can't say he minds her lips on the small of his neck or her hair brushing along his shoulder. it's mildly comforting when his muscles want to give in to the pavement begging him to hug it for a few hours. when she brings up the people behind him, he simply groans. ]

I don't know. Had one too many heart-to-hearts with people than what I'm used to. Have a feeling I'll regret a few things come tomorrow.

[ like his wallet, for instance. ]

[tearable]

You've known me for nearly 18 years and still think I'm a lightweight... bah. I got my tolerance from daddy — [ There's a bitterness in her voice. He liked to drink but even if he never drank himself into a stupor, he made dumb choices. Like this. Elizabeth clings a bit tighter, her feet dangling with every movement he makes. He jokes about the taxi and she laughs, definitely knowing that's fairly accurate. ] We didn't do bad — bad as we could have.

[ When he talks about heart to hearts, she perks a brow. ]

Do I even want to know...? You're not — not a 'heart-to-heart' kinda guy. [ A beat. ] We're both going to make regrets, I think... I can't go back to [ INSERT BAR NAME SHE GOT KICKED OUT OF ] for a while.

[puffing]

I didn't say you were a lightweight. You just drank a fucking lot. There's a difference.

[ he can hear the bitterness in her voice and knows all too well how it feels to think back on their daddies and how they can be real pricks. they've talked about it enough over the years and found similarities in their childhoods that they wished weren't similar. Bigby doesn't respond in words, but he does give her the pair of heels she's been relieved of in order to free his hand so that he can reach up and scratch at the back of her scalp affectionately. ]

You don't want to know. And I hope you never do. We should probably work to make sure no one talks about tonight. [ hopefully Ardyn never remembers that moment where Bigby smacked his ass and offered the man to handcuff him. Liz doesn't need to know that. ] We're drinking nothing but water for the next week. Deal?

[tearable]

Tomatoes... tomatoes. Does anyone really call them the latter? Really..?

[ I'm so sorry. But, yes, she did drink a lot but Elizabeth waves that off. Everyone else did. Elizabeth grabs onto the heels, they'd dangle against his chest every so often since her arms were wrapped around him, but this is nice. The care he gave her was nice. ]

My lips are sealed, sweetheart. Please don't tell anyone I almost cried about my age. [ On a pool table. To Jack. ] D-Deal. Water and aspirin for the next week.

[ They will prob have discussions later. ]

But, it was fun. Fun-ish, I think. You needed a break.

C

[daemonized]

Don't... call me a motherfucker, Bigby. It's rude.

[He says, with varying degrees of coherency, as Ardyn practically slams down his elbow down (ow) before Bigby, offering his right arm in a returned challenge. The man's hand is gripped tightly, and Ardyn's grin is remarkably sharp.]

You're all bark and no bite anyway, detective. Officer. Officer-detective.

[this night belongs in the trash can]

[puffing]

Do you think. I care? About anything like manners. Really, Ardyn. Or should I say... motherfucker. [ don't mind him as he snorts, tensing his bicep and squeezing into the man's hand as he practically dives into the charm with open arms. or elbows. whatever. ] Sounds weird as shit when you cuss, by the way. Go back to being pointlessly poetic.

[ at the mention of "officer-detective", Bigby is already swinging his hand down towards the bar in an effort to slam Ardyn's knuckles against the surface. if it doesn't budge the first time, he'll use his second hand to grab the man and bring it down one way or another. motheRFUCKER. ]

I'd fucking bite you, asshole, but my wife may have a problem with it!

[ as if he hadn't just spanked the man not too long ago. ]

[daemonized]

[If Ardyn had opened his mouth to reply with something snarky in return, well, he doesn't have time. Already Bigby is trying to slam his hand down to force a loss from him, but thankfully Ardyn tenses at the last moment, just barely stopping his knuckles hitting the table.

He grits his teeth in a grin.]

I didn't realize you were into that sort of thing, Officer. [BIGBY YOU CHEAT, if you're going to use both hands, Ardyn is going to do the same. Until this becomes less of match of arm wrestling and more two men pushing stupidly against each other with both hands.]

Warn me if you're planning on drawing blood.

[puffing]

Mrs. Wolf can attest I'm into a whole lot of shit, mother... fucker.

[ now both pairs of hands are clasped together and they look like they're forming a union of sorts. maybe a prayer? who knows. either way, between this and the spanking he had given the man earlier, they are getting to know one another on a more intimate basis tonight. unfortunately. oh-so-fucking unfortunately. what's better is that Bigby is now left grunting with effort as he tightens his arm and hopes to overpower the other man. ]

Didn't know you... mmf, worked your arms out. Or does that flamboyant, theatrical shit with waving them about do that for you?

[daemonized]

[A shame that Ardyn is too busy concentrating on trying to push against Bigby, otherwise he probably would have made something of a snide remark at the detective’s admission of being into a “whole lot of shit”. Maybe if he’s lucky, it won’t get lost in the drunken haze and he’ll remember tomorrow.

For now, though, the struggle is real. Ardyn is a tall, imposing man, and there’s a helping of natural strength that shines through because of genetics alone. But there’s only so far that’ll take him; he’s a law professor, after all, and it’s not like his usual physical exertion extends further than walking an awful lot around campus.]

You’re a cheat, officer, a cheat!

[He’s crying fowl (still with a grin on his face) because his knuckles are like, half an inch away from the table.]

A as in assuming tablegate will not end too badly for this interaction

[goen]

[ Yato mans the bar, clean and sharp in a dark vest and tie. He is trying out, as it were, for a more permanent job at the Inkwell. Boss Chuuya is out on a blind date tonight, and so it falls on Yato to tend the bar and keep order. Yato is not a good person to rely on to keep order. But for tonight he will try extra hard. He expects a lot of lonely, depressed people, a few of the more laid back couples... the quiet crowd. Easy.

Except Jack walks in with a pack of older folks looking to party like they're half their age. These are the most obnoxious patrons, Yato finds. They're not just drunks -- they're drunks who think they're wiser than younguns like him.

But!! Best behavior. One night. Yato can do it oh god are those Jade's parents. He keeps his head down and focuses on staying abreast of the rush of orders, but he can't help keeping an eye on the Wolfs. Particularly Bigby, who seems to be slooowly taking a drink from another customer. A customer who's already had quite a bit to drink, Yato remembers. The man does not take it well and lurches to his feet with fists raised, ready to rumble.

Yato inwardly does not recommend this rumble. But he'll wait to see how Bigby responds before trying to step in. ]

[puffing]

[ years upon years ago, Bigby would have been the first one to grab the glass he had taken from the other man and smashed it upside his head just for making a big deal about something. a bar crawl often turned into that of a brawl and it was a blessing he didn't get sent to jail and ruin any chance at becoming the police detective that he is now. as much as everyone may expect him to just want to duke it out with strangers, he really doesn't. the man just wants to drink!!!

so when the customer begins to cause a shitstorm by standing up and cursing Bigby out, he's left just laughing underneath his breath. he answers with gulping down the drink's contents, pulling out a ten dollar bill and stuffing it inside the glass before sliding it over to the man. ]

Let's keep it together, pal. Gonna ruin Valentine's for a whole lot of folks if you think you want to go this route.

[ surprise?? Bigby being a voice of reason?? yeah. the other guy seems to grumble and mumble for a little while before taking the money and pocketing it before promptly sitting back down. when he looks over to the opposite direction in an effort to call over a bartender so that he can pay them for the drink as well, he notices it's someone familiar. someone who has. been in his home...... ]

What the fuck? Yato, why― how are you even a suit like that―

[ YOU'RE HOMELESS BECAUSE YOU'RE SPENDING YOUR MONEY ON CLOTHES, AREN'T YOU ]

[goen]

[ ... okay he may have spent the last of his money on this outfit, but no one wants to look at a trash bartender...

Yato is pleasantly surprised by Bigby's peaceful resolution with the other patron, quite possibly because Yato's most enduring memories of him involve a lot of growling, tackling, and gunfire. Bigby doesn't have to act so shocked that Yato is capable of looking decent, though?? Yato frowns and pointedly snaps a towel over his shoulder before crossing his arms. He's homeless, not amorphous. Nice clothes can fit on him too. ]

It's the dress code. I'm working! For a rowdy flood of patrons, mind you. Shouldn't you be on a romantic date with the missus or something?

[puffing]

[ there's a difference between now and that lovely day where he decided to sneak into his home while none of the Wolf's were home and not make his presence known. Bigby acted on his paternal impulse to ensure his wife and daughter were safe, senses triggered and blood flowing at the first shot of a gun. this is hardly that serious, even with someone right in front of him trying to make it that way. he isn't about to waste his night and ruin it for everyone by tackling the stranger and ruining yet another table.

someone would think Bigby has a thing against flat surfaces if that's the case. ]

... Oh. Wasn't aware you had a job. Is this recent, or―

[ he can't say that he's unhappy to see the kid working. Bigby's gotten the impression he doesn't accept handouts from their previous conversation, and even if he had been willing to help him financially, he's pretty sure Yato would have declined. the suit is just. baffling, to say the least. ]

―The missus and I had our romantic date on the weekend. Not that you need to worry about that or anything.

[goen]

[ Bar crashing on Valentine's seems right about Bigby's speed, but Yato wasn't expecting Elizabeth to be along for the ride too. If they've already had their lovey dovey night out though, then he supposes all bases are being covered. The Wolfs continue to be strangely compatible... ]

It's more of a tryout. The owner here's a friend of friend. If he keeps liking what I'm doing, he says he'll hire me on officially. So do me a favor and don't let your friends get too out of hand!

[ Someone down the bar calls for a drink, and Yato turns to pour a mug from the tap. ]

Anyway, what'll you have?

[ He just assumes Bigby's going to keep drinking until he's completely shitfaced. ]

B

[playdolls]

Oh?

[ Pitou's eyes light up when someone actually wants to play pool with them. They are a notoriously competitive and a sore loser, and anyone more sober would have avoided the dainty little freak. Then again, Pitou and Bigby have only had occasion to meet once or twice, and when you're a mortician it's always under unfortunate circumstances. But such is the homicide business, huh.

Pitou smiles mischievously, ]

What do I get if I win?

[puffing]

[ it takes a moment, but Bigby realizes that his poke was towards someone that he was at least acquaintances with. being as how their conversations revolved around nothing but dead bodies, it can be safely said that he is quirking his brow in curiosity upon running into them at a bar in the middle of Valentine's Day (or Night, in this case). crazier things have happened, and he sure as shit isn't one to judge.

when asked about winnings, he simply scratches at the scruff of his chin, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully. ]

Not up for just simple game? Mm. I'll put some money on the table if you want to go that route, but... hate to see you go broke playing against li'l ole me.

[playdolls]

[ Pitou grins, toothy in their delicately set features. They enjoys some good old fashioned trash talk, they seem utterly delighted even, rather than put off. ]

Now, now, if you're going to talk so big then maybe we should play for things we really care about.

[ There's a dare there, do it or be pathetic. ]

[puffing]

[ WELL PATHETIC IS STARTING A LITTLE STRONG.........

but Bigby can't resist prodding the beast further. ]

I don't talk big. I am big. [ 'cause, get it. Bigby? Big? yeah, even he can poke fun at his own name, ok. ] Name something you want to put on the table and I'll match. Something you'll miss dearly.

[ he feels like he should disclaim that his wife and daughter are not up for bets. ]