recolle | ( closed )

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who: sawamura eijun, okumura koushuu, yamazaki sousuke
when: may 20th, just before the spring festival
where: recolle high school baseball diamond
what: Baseball Emotions (TM)
warnings: snotcrying and lots of it

[ at the top of the eighth inning in recolle's final game of the regular season, eijun's starting to feel a little pressure.

in recolle, baseball is a big deal. eijun's known this since he was first scouted for this school--it was basically like a professional training camp--and as the ace of the team, he feels the pressure of success on his back with every game that passes. he's clawed and scratched his way to this position, only ousting the ace in the summer of his sophomore year through sheer, unending determination. he's worked from being easily the most hated member of the team to its heart and soul, but eijun never once did it by himself: he's always been supported by a catcher.

the first catcher he ever worked with was sousuke, who eijun looks up to an admires with every fiber of his being. he taught him to be the pitcher he was--to be the ace. since sousuke has graduated, eijun's worked his best to create a legacy he could live up to. this season is his first true season as the ace, and though he's done it without sousuke, he and okumura both look up to him-- which is why they're both looking to the stands.

by the time the eighth rolls around, eijun's looked up to the stands so many times even the announcers for the game have started to notice. his pitches have started to rise, just a little, as he gets more and more distracted with the missing person. it's not until the ninth that okumura calls a timeout and stands up to walk over towards eijun, who has now walked two batters in a row--but he comes over with what seems like good news. ]

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[ Sousuke had made a promise; one that he was on the edge of keeping, flipping back and forth between going and making an excuse not to. He realizes that he could have changed his mind earlier in the day, especially when the thought of taking a step into what was once his everything shook him to the very core. He had avoided the field since his graduation and even some time before that, trying to ignore that longing to play again.

Eijun and Okumura... did he even have any right to sit in the stands and watch them play? After straying so far off and keeping to himself, selfishly creating distance, why is it that either one of them bothered to speak with him at all?

And why did he not want those bonds to be severed? Because of all the time and effort he put into helping Eijun grow as a pitcher?

If he doesn't go today then there's no doubt that everything his heart has been desperately trying to keep together will fall apart. He's still scared, however, and that fear is what kept him from being there from the very beginning and he knows that he's a complete ass for doing that. But he pushes himself, as difficult as it is, and takes a seat within the crowd at the top of the eighth. Strangely enough, while subtle, he smiles when he notices Okumura walking up to Eijun. ]

[ Koushuu has been grinding his teeth since they got to the stadium.

There's no denying it, and even the managers noticed before they'd departed from the team to go take the stands. Most people give him a wide berth when he gets like this, and at least now they think it's just the energy from this pivotal game getting to even him, as they all deal with their own versions of it. And that's a little part of it, but the biggest part of it all is all riding on a promise to Eijun. One that's obviously wearing on Eijun, now, and driving Koushuu from tense to completely taut.

He didn't play on the same middle school team as him and Sousuke, but that didn't stop his admiration for the two of them, and certainly hasn't changed the fact that he feels like he's filling big shoes, now, here, at Recollé. But despite the absence in the stands, he keeps his cool and doesn't snap during the team talks, and he hits a double that brings a runner home through sheer spite towards himself and his agitated nerves more than anything else. If Sousuke doesn't show, he's not going to let his absence throw the game, for him or for Eijun.

But when he calls a timeout, he pulls his mask off and stalks up to the mound, jaw working, eyes up in the stands rather than on Eijun. And once he gets there, he nods his chin up, once, past his pitcher and into the crowd. ] Turn around. Behind second.

[ eijun's pissed by the time the timeout comes, though he's not mad at sousuke or okumura. he's mad at himself, angry that he's letting his abilities slip because he's worried about someone showing up. sometimes, he still thinks that the results he earns are by luck, somewhere in that sweet spot between hubris and humility, and the pressure of being the ace gets to him. he wants to do well--he wants them to take first place in their division, wants to lead his team to victory as only an ace can do--and that combined with the worry, the slight feeling of disappointment, are the things that are making his pitches start to rise.

pitchers are delicate creatures, after all. every one he's ever known has been teased for it, and though that's not the kind of complicated thing eijun really thinks about, it still affects him.

watching koushuu come up to him, eijun makes a quiet little tch noise, mad at himself, preparing himself to get lectured as he grits his teeth and tries to shake all the thoughts from his head, still tossing the rosin bag in his left, but koushuu says turn around and it makes him stop.

he looks back, and everything stops.

it takes a second for him to notice him, at the top of the stands like that, but there's sousuke. eijun's breath catches and his eyes widen: the reaction is blatantly obvious even from the stands, as a smile begins to spread on his face. all of the loud, busy thoughts about his game, the ache of his left arm after several obnoxious batters driving up his pitch count, it all just disappears as the sun itself practically comes out of the clouds.

eijun's always been single minded, too, and everything he thinks narrows down to one thought, as he finally, slowly tears his face away and looks at koushuu.

we have to win. ]

[ A part of him should have seen this coming—it was a selfish decision of him to not come and he realizes that, especially after having already made such a heavy promise, but again he believes that the short pause of the game wasn't for anything directed towards him. He's familiar that Eijun needs to cool off sometimes (he's either excited or too excited, rarely anything in between), and trusts that Koushuu will work a little magic and steel the pitcher in the right direction.

Of course when they take a look in his direction he can't help but feel a little surprised.

He made that much of an impact?

He can see it in Eijun's eyes, the way that a switch seems to flip somewhere within him, it's familiar. Sousuke has seen it time and time again, becoming something that also builds an immediate reaction out of him; positive, beaming, his chest swells up and he doesn't quite realize that that was something he had been missing for so long. At least not now. Soon he will. Because right now he can't stop the corners of his mouth from curling up into a wide grin, looking at both players with nothing but absolute pride. ]

[ Koushuu only takes his eyes off of where he'd spotted Sousuke coming in, so zeroed in on it, when Eijun turns to obey him and look as well. He watches him closely, regarding him, taking in the reaction that he has, and storing it away. A little of the tension in his own shoulders eases away, and he inclines his head when he turns back to look at him. Especially with that look on his face. Maybe they butt heads, maybe there's none of the smooth work between them that there was between Eijun and Sousuke, but.

There's still their own connection. They're a battery, and they've built that up after all this time. They have their numbers for a reason, and they're going to show that to Sousuke, to everyone. ]

No more walks. [ He doesn't bother covering his mouth with his glove. In Koushuu's opinion, there's no point in it - if the opponent hears him, then they're just going to hear something obvious, because anybody can see the switch that was flipped in Eijun's mood.

Shifting, he moves to stand closer to Eijun, more at his side, so that he can press his right hand between Eijun's shoulders. With his back to the crowd, to Sousuke, he pats, as if reaffirming the number that his palm has spread wide over. It's there, and he earned it. He's on the mound right now for a reason. ] We take them down, one by one, and show them that they don't stand a chance now. We're going to advance.

[ okumura's words wash over eijun--it's not that he doesn't hear them, but rather, that they soak into his skin. we're going to advance, he says, and eijun feels a swell of determination rise up in his chest, making it hard to believe.

he doesn't grin or smirk or laugh. he doesn't yell "osshi!!" at the top of his lungs, or anything else. not right away, anyway--instead, he just nods. the thump on his back reassures him: this place on the mound is his. he's earned this number, and with it, he'll carry the hopes and dreams of recolle, of the team members who never made it before this, onto nationals and beyond the school year.

he nods to koushuu, waits for him to turn to go back to the mound. eijun takes in a deep, long breath, looking down at the ground ("a hush seems to have fallen over recolle's pitcher--) until he yells, at the absolute top of his lungs. ] BALLS WILL GO FLYING, SO PREPARE YOURSELVES, DEFENDERS!!!!!!!!!!

[ it breaks some of the tension--there's a roar of approval from the stands, the sound of feet pounding on metal bleachers, and eijun breathes it in, soaks in the aura of the ace and the feeling of wanting to make someone else proud.

three batters come up in a row--and three batters go down.

fastball, four seamer, low and away.
fastball, cutter custom, low and away.
fastball, changeup, cutter classic. ]

[ these are pitches that sousuke taught him, that eijun and koushu perfected. they have grown without their senpai, and eijun doesn't even need to think to throw them, not anymore. the ball felt natural in his hands, more than it had in the moments before, less stilted, less tired.

when they win the game, it happens in a blur--eijun remembers the first baseman slamming into him in a hug, remembers just his own hand sticking straight up in the air as the team rushed the field. he remembers leading the crowd in his chant (OSSHI, OSSHI, OSSHI!!) but most of all, he remembers looking up to the crowd and feeling the prick of tears in his eyes with the force of his beam towards the top of the stands. watch me, it says, you saw me, right?

the feeling carries with him until he's in the locker room, until the coach shoves him outside with koushuu, and eijun can't help himself--he's practically vibrating, waiting to see if sousuke will come down to see them as the crowd finally disperses, giddy and flush with victory as eijun himself. ]

[ That yell was a little over the top but was he expecting it? Yes. Entirely. And it's exactly the type of momentum Sousuke needed to settle in with the rest of the crowd and cheer at the top of his lungs, nearly losing his voice as his throat strains with both joy and pride. Eijun, Koushuu, and the rest of the team play with a new sense of enthusiasm that he's missed since he had stopped playing; defense, offense, they were going above and beyond to perform their best, just as they did every game.

Possibly even better, he might add, and when they win that rush of adrenaline comes in hard. Chest rising and falling, he almost feels as if the air was knocked clear out of his lungs when he looks to the pitcher's mound and sees Eijun beaming at him.

And he does wait for them both. The crowd dwindling down and leaving him with a bit of privacy, he sees some familiar faces and offers a tired smile before they're moving on. His eyes flicker over, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smile. ]

That last changeup was really good. You all had me at the edge of my seat.

[ Koushuu doesn't even look back when he makes his way to the mound, and he doesn't need to. Their neighbors do the talking for him, and so does Eijun's shout, but most of all - their battery is all they need, right now. It doesn't even register to him as he crouches down, pulls his mask down over his face, and gives Eijun his first pitch, knowing what he wants and what he needs for these final three outs.

But even he gets caught up in the momentum of the celebration, getting hauled in by the team in the dugout as they head straight for where Eijun is. At least it gets lost, in the sea of people. It's where he lets himself grin, if only for a moment, before they have another obstacle to surmount.

And that's an entirely different mountain.

A part of him is still on a victory high. Another part is wary about this - well, about everything. The final part is two seconds shy of joining Eijun in vibrating out of his skin.

Only when they see Sousuke does he settle on an interesting mix of the three, but his words don't come out scathing in the slightest bit. Even if he's calling Sousuke out a little in the process. ] Glad you were here for it. [ Koushuu knocks his elbow into Eijun, a little. ] Go on, Sawamura.

[ eijun practically vibrates for a second as he keeps his mouth shut, standing next to koushuu and looking at sousuke. sure, they've talked on retrospec and through text message every now and then, but there's always been some kind of wall there--ever since sousuke got hurt, even more so since he graduated.

sawamura eijun has always been a sentimental kid. there's nothing in the world that means more to him than the relationships he builds and the people around him, and when you're a pitcher, there's no one you build a stronger relationship with than with your batterymate--your catcher. sousuke was eijun's batterymate before koushuu, and sousuke was the reason that eijun is the pitcher that he is today--just like eijun was the reason that sousuke got hurt.

maybe, maybe not. he's been told that wasn't it, but he has never been able to shake it, still shies away from a certain pitch type every now and then. if only he had been better, then maybe they could have kept playing together. could have gone to nationals, together. eijun doesn't hate working with koushuu or anything--of course not, they've become a strong battery in their own right--but there's a certain bittersweetness to standing here in his cooling sling, koushuu still in full gear beside them, staring at sousuke across the way.

they've made it to states, no problem. one step closer to nationals, farther than recolle has ever made it before.

the compliment is what does it; eijun's sentimental about more than just his relationships. he feels the thick burn of tears in his throat before he opens his mouth, and eijun suddenly and abruptly drops his head, his right hand dropping to his side to clench in a fist as he says-- ] Th- Thank you for coming to watch us today, Master!

[ eijun may be sentimental, but he's never been hesitant. even if he speaks to the floor, he does it loudly. ] I--we did our best to make you proud! [ and, just as abruptly, he jerks his head back up; eijun's crying, his mouth set into a firm, deep frown, cheeks flushing pink as he blurts out: ] My only regret is that I could have pitched more with you!

[ Koushuu's gaze is like a sharp blade cutting into him—the words that accompany it do the same effect and hit him deep, which is reflected in the apologetic shine to his eyes. But he knows that a simple 'sorry' wouldn't be enough after hindering them throughout this entire time, nearly breaking a promise because he was too scared to return to the field. He expected too much of the negative; watching what he dreams could have been, jealous of what he could no longer do, remaining stuck in front of this wall that he had gone and created after his injury had turn for the worse.

Sousuke knows that he's being far too selfish and only thinking of himself. Has been for for far too long, and it nearly splits his heart in two when Eijun approaches because he finally realizes the weight he unintentionally placed on his shoulders. Blinded by the fact that Eijun is always so bright, a light that initially felt too intense when they had first met but gradually turned into something familiar, comforting. And it still remains so visible even as the younger male hangs his head.

Unsurprisingly he remains silent as Eijun bursts out, seems completely unfazed by the tears streaming down his cheeks, and allows a second to pass before he answers back.

Of course it's physical at first, a firm believer that he's better at expressing himself through action, and he lifts his right hand and places at on the shorter's head. ] I'm more than proud, idiot. [ Great job. Keep it up, Sousuke. He lightly ruffles up Eijun's hair. ] And why are you talking as if that's the last time you'll ever pitch to me?

[ Professionally, yes, he and Eijun's battery is over, but give him time and soon enough he'll be able to use his shoulder regularly. (Because even now there's a tinge of pain as he keeps his arm up, he really never learns.) It won't be like it was the past, but there's hope that, if given the chance, he can play around a little bit. wow fuck i just imagined them gathering their friends together for a game just for fun and now my heart aches even more anyway here's the end of the tag ]

We're a battery that lasts forever. And, if you don't mind it, I'd like to get one more pitch from you at the end of my physical therapy as proof.

[ Everything about Koushuu's past has built him up into the person he is, and there's no denying that Sousuke leaving the team, separating himself so drastically from the rest of them... well, it'd played into the way that his coach had abandoned his team in middle school. And while Eijun's constant remarks of him being aggressive like a wolf are correct often enough, nothing is more on the nose when it comes to this, comes to how much being a team means to him. Anyone that doesn't adhere to that, anyone that pressures someone on the team, anyone that plays for their own self interest and nothing more...

He has no place for them in his life, and they have no place on the team, and he's not shy about making sure they know it. But Sousuke had been something else, in the grand scheme of it. The person that he admired, as a pitcher, and someone that he'd gotten along well with even with that bitter wound so close to the surface in middle school. It was the same as coach leaving, except for where it wasn't - his injury complicated things, and he can get it. Sousuke left because he was in pain, in more ways than physically. He's not stupid.

But that doesn't mean it hurt any less, when he'd graduated high school and left his dream behind.

He has to bite his lip when Eijun really gets going, but he ducks his head briefly when Sousuke pats his pitcher's head, before reaching to start undoing the straps of his gear at one shoulder. This moment feels like something that Eijun and Sousuke need to have, so Koushuu moves to give them that time to themselves. He can corner Sousuke before he leaves. ]

[ boy, if you thought eijun was crying before.

he stares up at sousuke with his eyes huge and round as he goes right ahead and acknowledges him--of course i'm proud (and yes, the insult rolls right off of his back.) his breath catches and his eyes stay wide for a moment as the hand comes to ruffle in his hair. it feels like everything comes to a complete stop for a second as he continues, and, yeah.

eijun's always been passionate and sentimental. a crybaby, in better terms. he gets emotional over the little things, but could anyone blame him for this? the image folds out in his head before he even really gets a chance to think otherwise--the idea of getting to play together again. it shouldn't be that much, but even the thought of playing catch ball like they used to, sousuke correcting his form and eijun tossing the ball back every time, that first true feeling of battery he ever really experienced--

he gets choked up again. the tears start falling again as eijun's face just crumples and he starts bawling--hiccuping, snotcrying, the whole works. he starts nodding under sousuke's hand, furiously up and down. ] It'd--It'd be an honor!! I'll keep practicing so it'll be the best pitch--and Okumura's gonna keep practicing too!

[ his hand shoots down and grabs okumura's arm before he can even start really taking away his gear, because he's so not letting him get away from this moment either. these are the two people who have made eijun the pitcher who he is today, and he squeezes onto okumura's forearm hard for a minute like he's grounding himself with it, except he's still bawling so it sort of fails. ] I'm sorry it happened to you!! I wish I had been better--so that never would've happened! I hope you can forgive this humbled Sawamura!

[ when he gets that out he drops his head, bows again, and then comes back up to a standing position. it feels like something's finally off of his chest, and eijun can say that he feels lighter about this interaction than he has in a long time. ]

Edited 2017-06-18 00:44 (UTC)

[ It's to be expected for Eijun to start crying, Sousuke knows him and is aware that his words hold a great amount of weight to them, though the tight feeling in his chest that leaves him feeling out of breath is a surprise for him—it's honesty coming to bite him on the ass, the ease of speaking what's written in his heart finally causing him to express that feeling at the same time, which he normally conceals.

He almost feels bad for Koushuu because there's little history between them, this is probably awkward, but he's felt his desire and potential to grow as a better player while forming an unbreakable bond with Eijun since day one. There's a lot to respect for that, and seeing them today brings such an appreciative feeling of relief knowing that someone who cares wholeheartedly is there to continue bringing the best out of the pitcher.

It's written in his eyes, a gaze that flickers between the crybaby Eijun and the stoic Koushuu, a number of emotions the couldn't describe for the life of him; fulfilled, relieved, hoping, his dreams of playing baseball professionally coming to close but new ones opening for him. It's a little too much. Not enough to make him cry, but he feels the need to hide as his walls lower and he's left bare for his precious teammates to witness.

What happens next is completely on a whim: arms stretching out as he steps into intimate space, defenses down as one arm hooks around the necks of both teens. Tugging them closer as his hands rest on the back of their heads and brings the two into a hug. Ducking his face between them, his own expression fights between crying and smiling. ] Thank you guys, really. [ The apologize isn't necessary, but he's not going to argue against that. ] I think... with this, I can really start moving forward again with a new dream.

[ His grip tightens, his right arm sending light shivers of pain that he blatantly ignores. ]

I'm really glad to have had the both of you as teammates—as friends. I'm sorry that I made a real mess of things.

[ The fact that Eijun starts outright bawling isn't a shock to Koushuu, either. And the fact he's grabbed before he can make a temporary retreat doesn't surprise him, but - he still jolts, frowning at him and the grip he has on his forearm. But there he is, not trying to pull away as he listens to him, not bristling, not flustering, just. Letting it happen, even if something knots in his chest. ]

Sawamura - [ After a moment, though, he looks back at Sousuke as Eijun bows. A part of him wants to mimic the gesture, but another part just wants to look at Sousuke as Eijun pours his guts out. Because they really are a play in contrasts, differing personalities that don't necessarily mesh in the right ways some days, but still work as a cohesive unit regardless. He and Sousuke don't have the same, powerful history, but Sousuke Yamazaki is still a player that Koushuu admires. To the point that he knew, from the moment he started going to Recollé High, that he would have big shoes to fill.

He just didn't think it was going to be as soon as it was.

He also didn't think that he would get drawn into a hug.

Though he doesn't tense up completely, Koushuu does go still, surprised, head turned so that he can look a little at the side of Sousuke's head. It isn't rare for him to be pressed close to Eijun like this, so it's literally just the fact that he's been included in this gesture - no, that this gesture is even happening - that surprises him. He bites his lip as Sousuke thanks them, and continues.

And then he brings his hand up, settling in the wing of his shoulder blade. ] You were stupid. [ Blunt, direct, but not mean. It comes out softly, instead, as gentle as his touch, a contrast to how he often is. ] But you've always been a part of the team. You still are, even now. So we'll be here when you're ready.

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death comes

and it comes for all

:')

I'M DYING

GOOD TBH

1/2!

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